I am so sick of comics. It's all but ruined superpowers for me.

That aside, here is what I need to do in the next 18 hours:

1. Write Part 1, in which I will be introducing the feminist fan perspective and that of comics creators (referencing the Bunn article on Marsten and Wonder Woman, Adam Hughes interview, and example of O'Neil taking Wonder Woman's powers away and thinking it was a feminist move.)

2. Write Part 2, in which I will give the low-down on feminism (giving a brief history of the different waves and emphasizing 3rd wave views on sexuality referencing the BGR article), and conclude with definitions of sexism, objectification, and prejudice, relating that this is what we are going to look for in modern-day comics (past 10 years) in this paper and how we are going to do that (by looking at characters in context of their stories, plotlines, and characteristics, as well as giving brief comparison to comparable male characters, mainly just to point out relative degrees of exaggeration).

3. Write Section 4, in which I will give character profiles of Selina Kyle (Catwoman), Invisible Woman, Rogue and Emma Frost, looking for in particular any forms of sexism, objectification or prejudice (as defined earlier), pointing out key moments/aspects of power struggle and/or going against the gendered norm/stereotype.

4. Hammer this all home in the conclusion, which will basically be like look yo what up comics arent sexist, these peeps just be trying to sell comics and thayre be good reason why they be selling so damn many. The stories are good. The characters have depth. You'd think they run outta ideas but they just keep on reinventin. Plus they be sexy. And sexy aint bad. Sex without prejudice is fine. ALright, you got it now? GOOD, BECAUSE I'M DONE.


So I have a few options for writing this thing. Best way of going about it would be to sit down and write at least part one tonight, and preferably parts one and two because they are easy and relatively short. Then write part four tomorrow, because that's going to be one long-ass part of the paper (uhhum probably like 5-6 pages at least?), and then throw a bunch of shit together as a conclusion because that is just a matter of revision, not drafting. I need to have one "revised draft" (aka ONE WHOLE COMPLETE DRAFT) by class tomorrow. Meaning, by 12:30.

Alright, so let's get this shit started, before I blow ALL my brains out. Having an angry internal dialogue helps keep me sane (or at least entertained, mhmm!)

Mental flush: I saw Kevin at J St. today (asshole). Bastard made a run for it before any conversation could possibly ensue. I guess he knows too that this is the end. Whatever, like seriously, I'm so just done, I realized as he walked away that I really don't care.

The thing is, it's not even that he's not a decent person. It's just that our lives aren't moving in the same direction, and I'm not changing mine for the sake of-- anything, really. I'm going my own way, and if I go the way I'm meant to go, I'll eventually collide with people I'm meant to collide with.


On a side-note: I think our evolution presentation went well. I just kept on keeping on, took some deep breaths and reminded myself I really don't care about any insecurities I could have at that moment in time because in the end, they're only going to bring me down. I feel like that, if anything, just made it a success, even if my actual material was a bunch of crap. Danica and Tanvi's, at least, held a lot of very pertinent stuff. In any event, it's done, and now I can relax on that front.

If anything, I'm just really sick of Jason. Ends up he really is kind of a vacuous douchebag letdown. Go off with your "soulmate" in buttfuck zero-personality Maryland, I really DON'T GIVE A CRAP. Turns out you were just another friend of convenience after all. And I don't think we ever actually had anything in common. What do you even want out of life, you douchebag? More vacuous relationships? Thanks for letting me down.

i feel sick to my stomach, like i'm going to throw up. i might actually. i'm really, really upset, and i just want to leave. thank god i get to leave on tuesday, although i know i can't run away from my problems.

maybe i'm actually sick. maybe kristina is getting me sick.

i can't wait to go back to classes tomorrow. i really need something to take my mind off this. which is why i am going to do homework now.

i just submitted my paper! what a relief! (kind of)! i hope trout won't get mad that it is not really in essay format at all at this point; however, he did not seem to mind my previous alternative submittal for my project 1 peer/prof review; on the contrary, he seemed to appreciate the type of "thinking through writing" that I was doing in that draft.

at least my intellectual reasoning is completely sound this time, and I know what I'm going to do/ can discuss it! A bit of it is still up in my head, and so talking it out will be great. plus, i really do know how to charm myself through situations like this. seriously. i've put a LOT of thought into this paper, and i'm positive that that will show through.

now to celebrate: veggie burger? veggie burger. maybe i'll ask jason if he wants to grab carvings.

then i'll do myitalianlab and study for the french quiz (chapitre neuf, je crois... :)

:D

;)

this paper is just a series of revelations. one layer after another.

i think i might need a break to process it

how much time do i actually have tomorrow to work on it?

9:00-2:00. That's 5 hours. How long have I been working on this? About 3ish hours? 2ish hours? Yeah that may be cutting it a bit close. Let's just face it, I'm not going to get any sleep tonight. I'll work until about 1 or 2, or until my eyes shut of their own volition.

1. feminist fangirl opinion

mainstream superhero comics=sexist. (sexism=women have value only or for the most part due to sexuality, seen as objects to be used for men's pleasure.) always have, always will. underlying argument: such a portrayal of the modern woman is harmful and promotes a very negative, detrimental image, relays a harmful message. comics=the chicken (or one of the chickens, at least), not the egg.

2. the other opinion

sexuality in comics=result of culture we live in, only a reflection of it. things to consider: intent of comics creators, our generally hyper-sexual culture, economics of comics and audience of mainstream superhero comics. comics=the egg, not the chicken.

Okay, so on the one hand, I could take a very interesting course on Jane Austen, but not have it count for anything. The class would be small, and probably would be relatively easy. But I'd have to do some writing for it, and I am already going to take the drug awareness class. BUT, it will be the only chance I get to take a dean's seminar. BUT, if I don't take GCR courses now, I will have to take them later, which takes away from the time I could be spending later to learn even more awesome courses, like, say, japanese or korean!

If I drop the Jane Austen course, I could take Italian with Jason, as well as taking either Geography or Astronomy-Origins of the Cosmos. I am actually really good at science, and this would be a cool break as a completely different type of class as well as getting GCRs out of the way. Plus, Geography is 4 units, which could help me on the track to maybe graduating a semester early? However, I may have to get on a waiting list for french, which could be stressful, but probably will work out just fine because the french department seems pretty lenient and would probably let one more person into the class, or I may just get into it anyway.

On the other hand, I could just drop the Drug Awareness course, but I really don't want to do that because it just seems so pertinent to my life, although I could probably just do that kind of research on my own, and I don't really need to take a class on it. But I can allow myself one fun course.

I really want to take Geography and/or Astronomy. If I take Geography this semester, I can take Astronomy, BioAnth, Logic 2, French 10 or 30, and Italian 3 the next semester, and be essentially done with GCRs and not have to worry about trying to fulfill a science requirement during study abroad which really just does not seem feasible, and/or relatively unlikely/unenjoyable. I mean, seriously, do I really want to take a science course when I'm in France??? Not really. Or I can take that really fascinating-sounding anthro course that happens in the summer one of these summers. Although that seems a little unlikely too, because I won't really want to stay in DC after a whole year here. I'm going to want to travel/chill back on the west coast/make some money during the summer.

Okay, so Astronomy or Geography this semester. And Drug Awareness or Jane Austen.

The with the Jane Austen course is that I've essentially already taken that course. I've read quite a few of her books and discussed a lot of the subject material in APeng last year. And I feel like I've come to college to learn some new course material. Thus, I will let some other very lucky girl take my spot in the Austen course. Hopefully Elizabeth will get it!

Now for Astro or Geog. Which one should I take? They both sound equally interesting. I'll read the descriptions again and decide. Except with Geog, I'd have to get on the waiting list for french, and I don't really want to have to do that, so Astro it is!

AWESOME.

"there's a fine line between being sexually empowered/ liberated and abuse."

Women=sexual power. Men=physical power. This goes back to our origins as humans, and has links to evolutionary, biological bases (ahem, testosterone/estrogen).

Because of sexual liberation of women (women can date/have sex with whoever they want to, whenever they want to), good and bad. The good: freedom of choice, more open about sex, gender roles become more undefined (more openly gay, and bisexual people; more androgynous culture). The bad: children being exposed to sexuality too young (both girls and boys), unrealistic expectations, cultural fixation on sex (and confusion regarding love and lust), obsession with sex, varying (and often confusing) opinions on value of casual sex (sex without a relationship).

Thus, in comics, superwomen are inevitably exponentially more sexually powerful; supermen are more physically powerful. Although sometimes this border is pushed and, arguably, crossed. What should be equal: the degree of exaggeration; the development of the characters; intelligence; power and importance in the story lines/plot development. What should be pretty equal (although this is contestable): physical strength.

My analysis: whether modern superheroines meet the above standards, and where they fail/need improvment. Will look at: marvel encyclopedia, superhero databases, fan opinions, as well as outside opinions on gender roles in modern society. Who is the modern superwoman?

Just so I don't forget,

REVISION PLAN

Intro paragraph:

- McCloud's definition of closure: reader interpretation
- McCloud's definition of motion in comics: follows definition of closure; reader interpretation
- Refutation: McCloud's definition of motion in comics would make more sense for more abstract comics, but in any typical comic format, does not make much sense; due to specific visual cues aside from motion lines (ex. watchmen does not include any motion lines at all!) within images, such as placement of objects (mid-air) and illustration, using colors, shapes, shading, etc. to make eyes move across page and thus implying motion, all create very explicit indications of motion and thus the passage of time. In summary: less viewer participation/interpretation is required than what McCloud implies.

Body paragraphs:

- See comments scattered throughout; consider moving parts related to different visual techniques together, for example mid-action examples from Watchmen
- Examples are great/don't need revision
- One sentence expanding on what McCloud says about speech bubbles and how his definition is limited/ does not include type of speech bubbles in Watchmen? (see comments on essay)
- Speech bubble example is a bit confusing/ take another look at way they are described/revise to make more clear

Conclusion paragraph:

- followup on ideas expressed in intro, get rid of part about abstract art b/c too vague and inapplicable

emotions are so confusing.

i don't really know what to do with them.

THINGS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO:

1. Seeing Caitlyn (maybe I can get Kristina to go home the weekend she stays here? oh and PS note to self: remind Kristina that Caitlyn is coming, b/c of two-week notice contract)
2. Going to see New Moon with Caitlyn!!! (even if it sucks, it will be fun)
3. Going to Florida and hanging out with poopiekins!
4. Vacation in the Caribbean with Laura and Sam!
5. Being able to COOK IN A KITCHEN AGAIN (*cries softly*)
6. SAN FRANCISCO FOOD (the food here fucking scks, have i said this before?? i will say it again.)

...basically everything about winter break.

I'm also really excited for my classes next year! I can't wait until registration, when I know for sure what I am taking!

Also, I TOTALLY BLEW MY ITALIAN MIDTERM OUTTA THE WATER! That's right, I got a 97%!!!!!!!!!!!! :) I'm just happy that I'm succeeding at school. It's just a part of my life. Like cooking :(((. I miss that.